It’s no secret that the performers of the world are struggling. The theaters are shuttered, the alleys are darkened, the Denny’s of the world are closed except for takeout. With no public performances to be had, I feel I can at least stage a few of my dream productions in the 5-star, state-of-the-art theatre space that is my mind meat.

The following are a series of my dream roles, and, since I am the casting director as well as the producer, we can all safely assume that not only did I land the part, I performed to stellar review. To the Stage!